Monday, January 28, 2013

Frequently Asked Questions

Our family is often asked some rude, intrusive, invasive interesting questions. Some are asked politely, but many are spat out like accusations. And yes, most come from complete and total strangers! As if having 5 kids with one on the way is an OUTRAGEOUS number. Insane. OUT OF THIS WORLD. Funny, five (almost 6) kids doesn't even feel like that many!

Sometimes I believe sarcasm and snark are my more prevalent spiritual gifts. So forgive the tongue-in-cheek style of this post while I attempt to dispel some of the "myths" about our incredibly abnormal, superfluous awesome family. (Smiles demurely.)

Q: You MUST be part of some sort of "Quiverfull Movement," right?

This isn't usually posed as a question but as an accusation. And to be honest, it totally cracks me up! I didn't even know what that WAS until recently! No, we are not part of any "quiverfull movement." We just like kids and see them as God's blessings. Simply put, we like and agree with the bible and what it says about the blessing of children.

And just for the record, we don't force our girls to do all the cooking and cleaning while the boys go outside to play and build forts. Not at all. This is an equal opportunity household. I make ALL the children cook and clean, regardless of gender, so I can go out and build a fort.

Q: Are all these kids yours??

Yes. Well, except for that one right there. We picked him up at Costco in aisle 12. 

Q: Do all your kids have the same dad?

Umm, yes. Yes they do. And we were married the whole time. To each-other. And thanks for asking that right in front of my kids. That wasn't tacky at all. And no, we aren't using any government assistance program in order to have all these kids, because I'm sure that's your next question... (covering mouth and praying for grace...)

Q: Why do you have soooo many kids?

Well, we said we'd have children until we got an ugly one and that hasn't happened yet. (...And see above.)

Q: Are you going to have babies FOREVER?

I have no idea how many children the Lord will choose to place in our family, but I'm pretty sure that I won't be having babies  ~ FOREVER~.

Q: Do you ever get tired or overwhelmed?

Of course. I'm quite exhausted fairly often these days. This is a hard job! But God didn't call us to live easy, unchallenged lives. He called us to live joyfully in the challenges He sets before us.

Q: So do you think that skirts magically make you a better Christian and a better mom?

No, skirts don't magically make me a better christian or a better mom. They do, however cover my bottom since I bend over ALL DAY LONG. Ya' know, wiping up vomit and picking up LEGOS off the floor. We didn't burn our pants in a  bonfire ritual or anything, and we've been known to schlep around the house in sweats from time to time. But yes, the ladies in this house do primarily wear skirts or dresses for modesty reasons and because, well, we're  girls, and we like "pretty" things.

Q: So do you, like, live on a farm?

To be honest, here's where I'd like to lie and say "Yup. Sure do!"
People look SOOO disappointed when they find out we live in a rather nice, (slightly yuppie) city.  I guess they really wanted us to be redneck-hick-bumpkins who only thresh our own wheat and sew our own clothing that resembles pilgrims. Well, my husband doesn't seem to be willing to wear the pilgrim tights, so that is now definitely off the table.
While we won't be purchasing all the latest "fashions" we will also not be sewing our own clothing. Because frankly, I hate to sew. (And I admire people who do!)

Q: Are you Mormons?

Nope. We're born again Christians, saved by the grace of God and by the blood of the savior, Jesus Christ.

Q: Do you homeschool?

Yes. Though I prefer to say that we "Privately Educate our Children at Home." What we do is piece together a "private school" for our children. Much of their learning is done through several amazing computer curriculums and programs. And yes we plan to keep this up through high-school.

Q: Do you own a TV?

Yes, we own a television, though we don't watch it often.  We do have movies and videos that we enjoy as a family.

((The next is my personal favorite. Ready?..))

Q: Are you trying to be like the Duggars?

I can totally see why people ask us this though, because the number 6 is JUST. SO. CLOSE. to the number 19. (snort.)

We actually love the Duggar family and the witness they have for the Lord, but NO we are only trying to be like our family, and do whatever God desires for us.
And no, I'm NOT aiming for my own reality show. (Pleeeeze, God, no!)

Q: Do you have pets?

Nope. I don't need anything else around here that poops. And I've been saying for years that we'll never own any animal that doesn't produce food. I am hoping to get some chickens in the near future because we can easily go through 6 dozen organic eggs each week.

And I'll just save any other animals for the farm we don't have yet...

I hope this answers a few of the nagging questions you may have. I'm sure there are many more questions that will arise and make another amusing blog-post over time, but these are my personal favorites and most often asked. 
No, I didn't make any of these up! 

Scary, right?


  1. hahahahahahaha, you handled that brilliantly!!!

  2. From another mom of 6- I have heard all of those too. Although we have to admit to more of the ones in the redneck catagory than you do. ;) The biggest surprise to me is how many people think it is ok to ask if I had them all with the same man. How rude is that?? Like I want to discuss that with a stranger in Costco? Yes, all of my bio kids have the same dad. But when we have a foster child with us do they expect me to point to him/her and loudly announce all of the children are mine except "this one". Seriously, why do strangers think you want to discuss the origins of how God put your family together? Thanks for the laugh this morning!

    1. Kristin, I completely agree about the adoption and foster child bit.

      And apparently the long skirts and modest tops aren't enough to keep me from appearing like a floozy, if someone thinks I'm just procreating with a bunch of men! haha

  3. This was an interesting and funny article! I have four kids and that gets enough attention :) I will have to follow your blog, I love your sense of humor!

  4. Love it, and I rarely use Love in this form.